Christian Carnivore

Who in their right mind idolizes food? Right? That person must be pretty messed up.

It’s true. I am…or at least I was.

Since 2022, I’ve been on a journey to heal my mental hang-ups and broken mindset, all of which brought me to my lowest point at the age of 39. I didn’t realize that my thoughts and my mindset were that messed up, but my life was the proof. Emotional eating, poor dating choices, fear of trying a new career. I was just living a life of “middling”. I had just enough, but not more of the life I really wanted. My relationship with God was one of petition, “please give me this” instead of “Lead me, God”.

For self-improvement and discovery, YouTube was my go-to site. They have countless experts (and influencers) focused on that very topic. I had watched many that helped me realize my broken dating mindset. And after a year of introspection, God convicted my spirit that I had been idolizing marriage as a means of security and self-worth. WOW! A lightbulb, an “aha”, and an “oh, man” ran through my mind. That would explain a lot.

One of the main gurus of self-motivation and change is none other than Tony Robbins, the influential giant with decades of experience and research. I was listening to Tony’s content one day, and he mentioned that everyone is looking to fulfill 6 primary needs. My ears perked. What are they?

Then he asked something along the lines of “What lights you up, what do you enjoy?” My first response….”Food”. “What the heck?” I thought. That’s kind of embarassing. I immediately felt shame. However, I knew I was finally recognizing the problem after all these years. My driving needs at this low in my life were needs for Certainty and for Variety. By doing self-improvement, I was focusing on Growth also, but that didn’t light me up in the same way. Food was my dopamine hit, the thing I looked forward to, would plan, and knew I could rely on to be enjoyable.

All of this doesn’t explain why I call Food my idol though. After further reflection over the months, I saw that food was linked to that idol of Security. Having food made me feel secure. Having a relationship used to make me feel secure. “But food is an essential need!” That’s true. But it became my means of living life, feeling like life was worth living and exciting. When I fasted from food, or when I restricted an area of my diet, I felt empty. Like I was going through withdrawal. Instead of looking towards God for security, I was using things of this world to feel fulfilled and protected from lack.

But why is Security my base idol? As a child of the 1980s, the ecomony went through a recession which affected my parents’ income. My father was hired at a big box store, just to layoff people after a holiday season. He didn’t last long at that job himself, and he went through multiple jobs until the early 90s. I remember looking at an empty refrigerator, no gallon of milk, nothing to drink but water. Back then, water was the absolute most disgusting thing to me (I enjoy it now). The 2nd most memorable moment was 4 adults and 2 kids sharing a thin pan pizza, and that’s all we had to eat. One slice to a chubby kid was like deprivation.

I thank God that He’s showing me the areas of my life that need healing, that need Him. Before, God was trusted with just a few areas of my life, but not all of my life. After a few years of really reading the Bible, I can finally see that God is Omnipotent in all. Even after all my mistakes, all my sins, I know God sees my repentant heart. He loves me, and He is my Security and my Rock. In the spirit of this topic, I found a website with verses all about God and lack. A favorite is:

Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

https://www.openbible.info/topics/lack

Thank you for reading along. May God bless you and keep you.